


A Werewolf Story

by saintmadoc (clorinspats)



Category: The Big One (D&D)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Mating Rituals, Scent Kink, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, Werewolf Mates, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:29:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clorinspats/pseuds/saintmadoc
Relationships: Thandi Kahsu/Charlie Vanderbee
Kudos: 2





	1. Evil Eye

Thandi has worked here for years now. She's got a good team, she's got all the funding she could want, and she has the final say on all the projects. Working here at Charity is wonderful...except.

One man she bumps into quite a bit seems to hate her. She doesn't even know his name, but every time he sees her, he scowls, sneering, practically baring his teeth.

He scares her.

He seems to haunt the halls of the labs, but she isn't sure when and where he works in the building. He's just around.

There are more important things to work on, though, that require her attention. Interdimensional science is leaps ahead in her lab, and she's nearly managed to perfect demiplanes for common use. It'll be fantastic! Imagine how much easier things could be!

One man frowning at her in the halls shouldn't be cause for concern.

And then she bumps into him yet again. The man meets her gaze and bristles, turning his head away from her. He's walking stiffly, glancing back now and again to see if she's going to leave him alone.

This has gone on long enough.

"What's your problem with me?" She's not going to be cowed by a stranger giving her dirty looks. Less so by one who seems to be her shadow in the workplace!

Though, he seems startled by her acknowledgment, brows knitting together in hostile bewilderment. He doesn't respond.

"I said, what's your problem with me?"

"No problem. I just don't like you."

"That makes no sense! I don't know you, we've never spoken, and yet you are  _ always _ giving me this vicious look! Why?"

He steps back, and her eyes flick to his badge. Charles Vanderbee, botanical department. The photo of him is making an equally horrendous face.

"Nothing."

"Come now! What if it's something I can fix?"

Another step back. Is she scaring him? The man who growls at her is frightened? 

...good.

"It's nothing!"

"Then stop giving me such an evil look! As far as I can tell, I haven't done anything to deserve your anger!"

He's silent, eyes on the ground, as if he's thinking through a million things all at once. Then, very quietly, "You stink."

What? That's  _ baffling. _ Thandi lifts the front of her blouse to sniff. Nothing. "That's rude! I don't smell anything!"

"You wouldn't. But it's disgusting. You have a  _ stench _ and I hate it." The growl in his voice starts coming through, and it's Thandi's turn to step back.

"Can't you just  _ not _ smell me?! That's creepy! Are you...are you  _ stalking me? _ "

"What?! No! Why would I stalk someone like  _ you _ ? I hate you!"

"That's exactly why! I don't know anything about you! We've never spoken before now, but you  _ hate _ me!"

"I--"

"I bet if you took the time to get to know me, we'd be the  _ best _ of friends!" He blinks at her, shocked, and her own smile begins to grow. "In fact...I bet that if we talked at all, you would like me a whole lot more."

"I don't talk to people. I don't  _ do _ friends." 

"You're scared."

"I'm not!"

"Why?"

At this, he turns on his heel and bolts down the hall. Thandi watches him go, nearly laughing. He's much more meek than she would have thought, given his aggressive looks and stares. Still, she should be careful. Perhaps ask around.

Well, she came out to fetch more coffee grounds. Better do that.

Charlie sits on his spinning chair, knees pulled up. Bernard keeps spinning it as he tries to pull information out of the man.

"So, you told her she stinks."

"She does! Shut  _ up! _ "

"You've been upset about it for such a long time, though! Come  _ on _ , tell us!"

Charlie peers at his team. Fairwether and Pontilli glance back at him as they prepare samples, but Bernard is in his face. "This is why you're not allowed to fire people, you know! You keep getting angry about nothing!"

"Uuuugh! Leave me alone!"

"I can work and hassle you at the same time, doctor."

Charlie knows it. They've gotten used to his personality, this team, and he's adjusted to having them in his space. But he  _ can't  _ talk about this woman. No one should know about it!

She doesn't necessarily  _ stink _ ...it's more like...he's mad at her for the opposite. She smells  _ fantastic. _ And it pisses him off. Every time he hears that distinctive step, he barrels out of the botanical labs and finds himself staring her down. She's never questioned it before today, and now he had better keep his distance.

Gods, but she smells so...there's layers to it. Like smelling a flower through the growing process, but all at once. Nutty shea butter. Sweet pomegranate. Then ozone, something from big magic. But under all of that, there's a scent that he can't compare to anyone else. It's light, distant under those layers, but it gets him excited. It makes him want to trot up to her and beg her for a scratch.

So, instead, he's been keeping his distance, warning her away from him. He's going to end up exposing his secret to her simply because he can't seem to help how he acts around her.


	2. Briar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thandi meets the wolf for the first time.

Charlie can't go on like this. He's been resisting the pull to dash out as he always does, and he misses that elusive scent. A low whine escapes him, and he hears Bernard laugh.

"She's out in the hall again?"

Charlie frowns deeply, shooting Bernard a dirty look. It only makes Bernard's smile grow.

"Dr. Vanderbee, come on. You've got it bad. At least  _ talk _ to her! If you don't, we'll bring her here to talk to you."

"You can't!" Charlie buries his fingers in the dirt of the growing tray, tensing, and for a moment he thinks he might shift just from the anxiety.

"Bernard! You're going to make him wolf out!" Pontilli's voice cuts through, and she cuffs Bernard. He laughs, shrugging.

"Okay. But you  _ should _ at least do your little song and dance like you did before, or else you're going to end up lovesick."

"Bernard!"

"I've read that before, actually," Fairwether intones, checking their seed crop. "Wolves mate for life, and sometimes they can get sick from heartbreak."

"I'm not getting  _ lovesick! _ " The doctor snarls as he says this, slamming his fist down. Some dirt jumps from the impact, raining down quietly on the floor.

Pontilli sighs and jerks a thumb to the moon calendar on the wall, glaring at the other two. 

"Oh, shit," Bernard mumbles before turning to Charlie once more. "Hey, boss, weren't you supposed to be out of here like, two days ago?"

Charlie whines again, laying his head down in the cool soil. "Just leave me a _ lone _ , I'm going to keep working…"

His colleagues exchange looks with one another before collectively deciding to leave him to his own devices. Having the son of the company  _ and  _ a werewolf for a boss is difficult, but not meeting project deadlines is  _ worse. _

Besides, their boss is relatively harmless once one gets used to him. He's just wound tight, and tighter still since he gave up his one significant indulgence  _ and _ missed his full moon 'treatment period'. Charlie growls as he presses seeds into the soil again, foot tapping loudly.

This can't go on.

Friday, the night of the full moon, and this morning has Charlie pacing as he makes notes. He's practically shaking, claws digging into his clipboard. 

The others in the department mutually agree to keep away while he's stressed, but one thing is for certain: he isn't going to be good interaction. Despite this, Bernard knows that Charlie couldn't bear to hurt anyone physically, so when Charlie freezes, head snapping to stare at the door, he laughs.

Right away, Charlie whirls, growling angrily, and he seems to be a heartbeat away from changing. The ease on Bernard’s face has him baring his teeth. 

"Dr. Vanderbee. Just go see her. Take a peek. Why don't you let off some steam?"

"Why don't  _ you _ shut the  _ fuck _ up?" Charlie's voice is more of a bark, a rolling bout of thunder that would be more threatening if he weren't turning pink at the thought of seeing her. Just for a second.

Bernard looks to Fairwether, who points at themself in question. The vigorous nod is all the answer they need. They rise, opening the door, and Charlie's head snaps to the open doorway. It's her! It's her! 

"Oh no no no Bernard this is a bad--" Pontilli rushes out the words before she rushes at the wolf shaking off Charlie's lab clothes. It bounds out of her reach, nails clicking on the floor as he dashes to the source of the smell.

All three labmates peer out the door to see Thandi holding her mug up high, Charlie prancing and pressing to her leg. He pants, staring up at her with wild adoration, tail wagging. Thandi looks up at her audience.

"Are wolves allowed to be here?!"

"That one in particular is," Bernard snorts. "Just give him a little scratch behind the ears. He's a good boy."

Thandi looks down at the enormous creature, looking flustered. She reaches down and strokes his fur, taking care to scratch daintily in the thick ruff. The wolf growls slightly, and Thandi pauses. The pause gets an especially pitiable whine, so she starts stroking away some more.

Again, the growl, though it's nearly like a purr. "Oh, you're just really strange, aren't you? A good boy, yes?"

The wolf closes his eyes in pleasure, tail wagging away. Bernard laughs and whistles. "Briar! Come back!"

The growl this time is real, teeth bared as he presses to Thandi further. She smiles down at him. "Oh! Your name is Briar? What a cute name for such a good boy!!"

That sets him wagging again and Thandi starts to walk towards the botany department door. The wolf stays glued to her side, tail wagging as he follows her, staring up at her. When she stops in front of the lab, Fairwether slips a collar onto him.

The adoration ends suddenly and fiercely. Briar thrashes, trying to get the collar off, and Fairwether can't keep his hands on the lead. Bernard sighs. It's always a pain when he wolfs out, but this is a fresh hell. It seems that the crush has gone and taken the reason right out of the doctor.

Thandi kneels, setting her mug down, and Pontilli tries to warn her back. The woman, though, persists. She wraps up the wolf in a hug and his struggle dies down. He pants and lays his head on her shoulder, wagging his tail.

"What're we going to do with you, you naughty little thing!" She rubs his neck, laughing when his snout comes round to facilitate him licking her face all over. 

Charlie is done for. All he could think of is  _ her, her, her _ , no matter his environment or circumstances. The growl in his throat starts up, that weird ugly purr, and she  _ laughs. _ It’s absolutely addicting, sweet, good-tempered.

Bernard pulls out his phone, snapping a few pictures before he begins to dial. "Do you mind staying with him for a little bit? It seems you're his favorite person right now and I would like for Fairwether not to lose a hand. We're not actually allowed to touch him."

"Oh! Then--" Thandi pulls back, and the wolf whines again. "--oh, never mind." She can't hear something so sad and not do anything about it!

Eventually, they chat. Thandi enjoys it thoroughly, rubbing the wolf down as they wait for someone to assist in collaring Briar. An older man comes, delicately taking the lead from Fairwether. He smiles at Thandi knowingly. “Thank you for helping them out. Once in a while, the botany department runs a little wild.” He waves goodbye to Thandi, Briar struggling the whole way. The animal stares at her longingly, tail tucked, and she could hear him howling all the way around.

She feels silly, but he looks so sad to part.


	3. Gifting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gifts appear on Thandi's desk! Dean has been working his charms, too...

A week later and Charlie is back in top form. He's sprouted his plants, he's returned to rationality, and his distance from Thandi isn't being shortened.

That said, they're back at it. Charlie stares at her from down the hall; watching her with longing. When Thandi catches his eye, he stiffens and freezes. Certainly they've spoken before, but the feeling of shame from his wolf phase overpowers the desire to get close. 

Now, though, all Thandi has to do is smile and he bolts with a fearful expression. Plus, her days have been getting better lately. When she comes into her lab, there's been little gifts left on her desk lately. 

Canned coffee, the particular sort she's been fond of.

Chocolates, from an expensive brand.

Flowers…daisies, freshly clipped, a homemade bouquet wrapped in brown paper and bound with twine. They smell wonderful.

She assumes that it's her coworkers at first. No one gives any indication of knowing, and when the flowers show up, they all are surprised.

"Someone is trying to impress you!"

"Isn't it one of you?"

The looks exchanged, the confusion on faces, and a knock at the door. Thandi turns, holding the daisy bouquet to her chest. "Dean?"

"Good mornin to ya, Dr. Thandi."

This gets a laugh out of her as he walks in, handing off budget reports. Is it him? He's tall, chipper, exceedingly energetic. His sunshine seems to rub off on everyone in the room.

"Good morning, Dean. How are you?"

"Better from seeing you." He winks and glances at the bouquet. "Nice flowers. I'll swing by later to pick up the forms for your part of the budget."

"What time do you think?"

"Hmm. After lunch. It's a date." 

Thandi blushes slightly as she waves it off. "Don't be like that! Thank you."

"Just doin my job, Dr. Thandi." With a laugh, he's out again, and Thandi sighs. She looks around her, suddenly aware that all eyes are on her. "What! What is it?"

"It's him! It's totally him. When do you think he's going to ask you out?"

"Ask me o--no!! No, we're  _ just _ friends. That's it! Maybe it's...doctor appreciation week?" She's pink, though. The daisies are lovely, and they live on her desk from then on.

Dean swings by later, as promised, and somehow he and Thandi get to talking about nothing and everything. 

And the gifts continue. Coffee. Chocolate. Pulp books. Cute tasseled bookmarks. Pressed flowers. Those miniature books that seem to always hang out by the register in bookstores, with titles like "Things My Dog Thinks" or "101 Ways To Smile". As time goes on, they seem to suit her tastes more and more.

The mug is the tipping point. It's an oversized mug with a vacuum sealed sampler of instant coffee sitting in it with a little stuffed wolf and a few peonies. Thandi tilts her head, lifting it up to see better. 

The mug has a rather charming design of a wolf, sitting and reading a pile of books. It just tickles her pink. When her coworkers arrive, she raises the mug in greeting as she sips.

"Is that new flowers I see?" One of her colleagues walks over, peering at the peonies mixed in with the daisies. They're still as fresh as the day they arrived on her desk. "Are they, like, real this time?"

"I don't know. If they're anything like the daisies, they're probably just very nice copies?" Thandi reaches out to stroke a petal. It  _ feels _ real. The coworker plucks the stuffed wolf up, too, squealing.

"This is so cute! So, Dean got you a mug, more flowers, and a little stuffed toy! How romantic. I wish my boyfriend was so good to  _ me _ for Valentine's day."

Thandi spits coffee across her desk. " _ Valentine's day?! _ "

"Yeah," says another. "You didn't notice? We were taking bets on whether or not he was going to ask you out! After all the gifts, it's  _ bound _ to happen. You said he liked dogs, right?"

"Oh, he just  _ loves _ dogs. Have I shown you the pictures he sent?"

"Only a million times. If you two flirt any harder, you'll be married by year's end."

Thandi goes quiet. She cleans up her coffee, trying to figure out how to respond. She's not actually looking for anyone to marry or date, but it wouldn't necessarily be  _ bad. _ And Dean really seems to like her. 

As if her thoughts summoned him, he's knocking as he enters. "Dr. Thandi and company! Your budget has been approved once more, my lady." He gives an exaggerated bow as he hands the files over to Thandi. She smiles up at him, face red.

"Thank you. For...everything, really. It means a lot to me."

Dean raises a brow, but he smiles. "Well...it's my job?"

"No,  _ beyond _ that. You've been so kind and generous. And I enjoy talking to you."

Everyone is watching with bated breath while Dean laughs slightly, tipping his hat as he grins. "Well...it's Valentine's day. So, maybe, if you're up to it, you'd go out with me tonight? Go to, er...pizza. Do you like pizza, Dr. Thandi?"

" _ Just _ Thandi is fine, darling. Pizza, too."

"I'll text you, then! Now  _ that's  _ a date. See you tonight, Thandi."

She waves as he leaves, staring after him. Yes, it wouldn't be too bad.

It's a cozy mom and pop pizza joint. Dean shows up five minutes before they're supposed to meet, surprised by Thandi already waiting outside. She showed up  _ twenty _ minutes early. After all, it's polite to arrive early, and only appropriate to not keep someone waiting!

"You're early!"

"Of course! So are you!" Thandi smiles brilliantly at him, her white dress seeming to glow in the dim streetlight and the neon of the open sign. She decided on a casual look tonight, something flowy but with a flattering neckline.

As for Dean, he's casual for tonight, too. He looks good in jeans and a bomber jacket, and doubly so with a bouquet that he pulls out from behind his back. Thandi takes it with delight, plastic crinkling loudly as she takes a deep sniff. 

"More flowers! You really  _ are _ something, Dean."

He laughs, but it peters off. "Haha...well, what do you mean by more?"

"After this morning? With the peonies? You certainly know how to choose some wonderful blooms." She beams up at him, holding the bouquet close. "I've treasured them all."

"I'm sorry, but...I didn't give you flowers this morning, Thandi."

She stares at him, confusion pushing her brows together. "You did! With the mug, the stuffie, and the coffee?"

"You got a gift from someone else. I don't know what to tell you…"

"The...the daisies?" If not Dean, then who? 

"Daisies?"

"Just a little while ago! The daisies? You didn't say it was you, but we figured it out, that it was you giving me gifts…!"

The silence is awkward and long. Dean takes a breath and points to the flowers in her grasp. "They're, uh. Chocolate cosmos. Get it...because chocolate and Valentine's day...okay, so maybe that's all they had left, but I still don't really know what to say here."

"Let's...go inside to talk. It would be nice to still enjoy dinner." Thandi squares her shoulders and gives him her best smile. "I'm sure this is all just a big misunderstanding!"

It's a  _ huge _ misunderstanding.

They address each instance of gifts with the same exchange, over and over.

"The coffee?"

"Not me."

"The chocolates?"

"Not me."

"The books?"

And so on. Each denial gets Thandi a little more frustrated, and she bites her lip as she struggles to come up with the potential identity of  _ who _ has been leaving her gifts. 

"You get along so well with so many people," Dean points out. "You've got a magnetic personality. It's really sweet, and you're beautiful, and so peppy! I'm sorry I'm not your secret admirer."

"It can't be helped that we were mistaken all this time. And I can't imagine who else would leave me gifts. If it's not my department, and it's not you, and it's not anyone at the front desk or the accounting department and...well, anywhere, who could it even be?"

Dean shames his head. "As much as I'd love to take credit, it sort of stings that I got a date because you thought it was  _ me _ giving you these gifts. I thought it was the dog photos that won you over."

"They  _ are _ quite cute. But...I don't really know what to feel at this point! I hope you'll excuse me…"

"No harm done. Only thing injured is my pride, but that's beside the point. Why don't you just try to come in earlier to catch your admirer?"

Thandi's eyes light up. "That's a wonderful idea!!" 

After that, their talk turns to the usual. Dogs, pizza (topical!), and how close spring is. Thandi, though, leaves early--

"I've got a cupid to catch."


	4. Giving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie leaves things on Thandi's desk.

Charlie always gets in early, so it isn't much of an issue. He can find her desk easily, despite the dark, despite never coming here otherwise, despite. Well. Never caring so much for it before.

Her scent is traced all over the office, but it lays most thickly at one particular point. And...he wants to repay her. For being so kind when he wolfed out on her. It's not as if she  _ knows _ it's him, anyway, so it's better that it stays that way. He's just some weird guy who glowers at her in the hallway, or some big tame wolf that just  _ adores _ ear scratches. 

Dr. Thandi Kahsu. That's the name on the little placard sitting on her desk. He tilts his head as he looks at everything. She keeps everything neat, very organized and tidy, but there are little knick knacks in abundance. A stapler shaped like a cat laying on a branch, a pen holder with googly eyes glued on, a bowl of paperclips that are shaped like cat heads.

It's a little disappointing that she's more of a cat person, but it's not as if he's going to be approaching her any time soon. He puts down the coffee--canned, of course, with hazelnut because she seems like she would like that sort of thing--and he leaves.

The next morning, chocolate. His favorite sort, because why would he give anyone he liked sub-par chocolate? 

The third day...flowers.  _ Maybe _ he wanted to impress her, just a little, and it was strongly suggested online that women like flowers. Well, he does, too, but that's beside the point. Daisies are perfect.

Just. Because they coordinate with what she wears when he happens to see her--white and gold are extremely flattering for her complexion--and definitely not because they  _ mean _ anything.

Not like.  _ True love. _ That would be  _ ridiculous. _ He doesn't like her at all. It's just thanking her. A lot.

He debates on setting the bouquet on her desk. They're all hand-trimmed from his mother's garden, and it would be a shame to see them go in the bin when they die.

He holds them close. This is a stupid idea.

The elevator door opens outside, around the corner, in the floor lobby. Charlie gently places them on her desk, murmuring to them that they had best stay pretty for Dr. Kahsu before darting out of the interplanar labs and dashing down the hall to botanicals.

After that, he tones it down. Seeing the bouquet alive on her desk and her growing collection of toys and books and office supplies makes him happy, somehow, even if he's just dropping a little square of chocolate or a book he saw that reminded him of her. It's not as if he likes seeing that she enjoys what he's giving her. It's not as if he's ecstatic at this subtle and indirect way of showing affection and marking his territory-not-territory. It's not as if he feels somehow useful to her without even being around.

It's not as if he's looking forward to seeing her desk every morning as he puts down some other little gift. 

And...it's February.

There's something that tugs at him. Just a need to acknowledge the...raging dislike...that he has for her. Valentine's Day.

It might be more than a little self-indulgent, since she's not really a dog person as far as he knows, but. Maybe the other parts of the gift would make up for it.

A mug, a big soup mug--she does drink a  _ generous _ amount of coffee--with a reading wolf. To balance out that wolf, coffee. Instant, because he's not really sure if she would drink it at the office if it were whole bean. A little plush wolf, one of those sorts with strangely plush fur and a big bushy tail. And, lastly, to balance out  _ that _ wolf, peonies.

Not because. They're his favorite. Or that they mean anything. No. It's just to impress her. No, wait. It's a thank you gift. Yeah...thank you. Happy Valentine's Day.

Later, close to clocking out, he hears that distinctive step in the halls and he comes out, meek. Just to see if maybe she's bringing them home or something.

She's being crowded by her colleagues, but her scent still stands out. His heart hurts for some reason, and he clutches at his chest. That's odd.

There's a lot of squealing and well-wishing. "Congrats on your date!"

"He's a lucky guy!"

"I can't believe you get to have such a romantic  _ stud…! _ "

And  _ her _ laugh, practically  _ musical. _ "I know. I can't get ahead of myself. It might not be anything. But he is  _ very _ sweet, and...well! Why not?"

"Don't forget the condom."

"I! No!! You joker!"

Ah.

This is too much.

Charlie slinks back to botanicals, his own colleagues glancing up as he slouches to his desk and drops into the seat. They share concerned silence, but leave him be.

He shouldn't give her any more gifts. If she's going out with someone, it'd be. Bad. A low whine escapes him and he lays his head on his desk.

Someone sets a canned coffee there for him.

"Chin up, doc. There's always other people."

Bernard is right. But for now, Charlie languishes, mourning his first love before he actually got to admit it to himself.


	5. Flower Language

Thandi is confident that she'll find whoever has been leaving her such lovely gifts. They haven't missed a single morning since they started. She waits just around the far corner, trying to be quiet and listen to footsteps.

Unfortunately, though, Charlie smells her first. Before he even enters their hall, that perfume of sweetness swirls around him. He puts it off. He waits, sitting down at the corner by the elevators.

Why is she here so early?? Charlie clutches his chest, hugging his knees with his other arm. It's a silent standoff. As others start to arrive, he hears her give in and walk to her lab. The interplanar scientists give him a baffled look as they pass, but it doesn't really matter.

Their whispers of  _ that weird guy _ and  _ he's a little odd isn't he _ are nothing compared to when he hears Dr. Kahsu's voice.

"That's just how he is, but I think he's perfectly harmless."

Bury him.

This starts getting to be  _ daily. _ Charlie can't take it. 

He leaves early for his monthly sojourn in his mother's cabin. It's too much. He's aching.

Thandi can't figure it out. How did things stop so immediately? Was that one always planned to be the last? Is that why it was so big?

She leans on her hand at her desk, idly stroking the peonies that have wilted. The daisies, too. They've been withering this whole time, dropping petals and leaves and whole flower heads down. The fact that they're real is surprising and now she has even more reason to feel a little at a loss.

Dean still swung by on work errands, but their flirtatious banter lost the spark. After all, if she had started to fall for him because of the attention and generosity of the gifts, then she was attributing someone else's efforts to him. That's not fair.

On the bright side, her afternoon ventures into the halls have been peaceful. No one leers at her, and she's grateful for it. Everything has been so focused on the mornings that she's been a bit more tired come lunch. Coffee is a  _ godsend. _

Although, it seems that her hanger-on has found a new hobby, sitting in the hallway every morning for...what? A nap?

Wait.

Could it be possible that she was coming in... _ too _ early?

What if…

No. There's no way.  _ Him?? _

After that, though, she hears  _ nothing _ . No weird Dr. Charles Vanderbee, no mystery gift giver, not even a peep of speculation.

It's time to give up.

Maybe it was just a one time thing.

A week goes by. Her normal schedule is restored. Things start to become normal. 

And then a flower shows up on her desk. It's bright pink, the petals retaining their life just long enough for her to find it. She looks to her labmates, who shake their heads.

"What sort of flower is this?"

No one knows.

But, the botanical department is just down the hall.

That smell. 

Charlie whines, long and low, laying his head down. He misses that smell. And maybe it was stupid to drop a cyclamen on her desk like that, but he wanted to have  _ closure _ .

That smell…

That step…

Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

"Excuse me." Her voice. It plucks at his heart, and he buries his face in his arms, pushing away the samples he's pulling apart. It's a higher priority not to freak out with her here.

Pontilli answers her first. "Oh, hello, ah…"

"Oh! Dr. Thandi Kahsu. Pleased to meet you!"

"Likewise. I'm Terra Pontilli. No doctorate yet, but soon. What do you need?"

"It's something small, really. I thought that since you're all well-versed in plants, you can identify this for me?"

Ooooh no. No, no, no. Now  _ everyone _ knows he couldn't bear to part without saying goodbye.

"That's a cyclamen. They're actually poisonous, so please don't bring it around any animals." Gods, he could practically feel Fairwether's eyes burning into his back.

"Interesting," they say. "Why do you want to know?"

"Ah...it's a little embarrassing. You see...ah. I've had an admirer for the better part of February, and then they just stopped so suddenly. I just want to know what this could mean."

"You're in luck."

Bernard backs them up, pulling Charlie's chair back and away from his work space. Charlie slumps, avoiding her eyes as Bernard gestures to him. "We've got a resident flower language expert right here. Dr. Vanderbee?"

It comes out as a low mumble. He doesn't want to know the look on her face when she realizes that  _ him, _ that  _ weird guy _ , knows flowers.

Her scent comes closer. Her voice, a touch louder.

"I'm sorry, I missed that. Once more?"

"Cyclamens...are. Flowers that symbolize...resignation. Goodbye. They're given to people when they're departing and they are used in funeral arrangements."

She's quiet for a moment. Then, "...and pink peonies?"

Charlie feels himself reddening. He wants to curl up and die. "They're. A variety of...it's love at first sight. Prosperity. Good fortune in love and relationships."

"...white daisies?"

He can't catch a break. "T-t-true love. Innocence. Purity. Harmony. Are you happy? Do you have a list? Are we done?"

She's quiet. He can't look. He feels how hot is face is, and the  _ shame _ . It's so much. It's too much. Actually, isn't it  _ too _ hot?

Isn't it... _ way _ too hot?

"Oh no." Whose voice is that?

He hears  _ her _ voice say something. Fairwether is pushing her out, trying to get her gone before…

Oh.

Terra grabs the lead and collar, he can see that now, and oh  _ fuck _ they're going to put that on him! No!

He's wriggling out of his clothes already, nails clicking on the floor, and he hears the loud shouting of all his labmates. Everything is moving all at once. It's too loud. It's too much.

He scrambles towards the safest place.

That scent.


	6. Parents

Thandi isn't sure what's going on. One moment, she was listening to the doctor snarl at her, and the next, she's being pushed out hurriedly.  
It's absolute chaos.  
That doctor must be absolutely--  
What--  
Is that the wolf?  
"Briar?"  
And then the canine jumps off the chair, growling at the others, eyes wide and ears pinned. A wolf.  
Like the...wolf mug...the wolf plush…  
They try to get the collar on and then she's plowed into by an enormous weight, stumbling, and pinned by a growling wolf who presses his whole head into her, hiding his face. She stares up at his labmates and they watch in frozen horror.  
The wolf is the only one moving, pressing and whining and growling.   
Priorities. Thandi hugs the wolf around the neck, stroking and scratching to calm him. Quietly, she murmurs to him. "You're really quite shy, aren't you, Briar? You're a sweet little puppy. That's right. It's okay. It's all right."  
The tucked tail starts to relax, wagging very slightly. She breathes, letting him melt into her before she looks up. All three of his labmates are pale. Bernard pulls out his phone.  
"We're going to need you to stay here. This is sort of...a really sensitive matter."  
"I understand."  
Does she?  
Briar is much more honest than Dr. Vanderbee. He growls, whining, refusing touch from anyone else. It makes sense, then. He knew the flowers. He's always in early. The wolf things, the coffee, his sudden shyness.  
She gasps, realizing then. Did he find out about the mix up? Did he find out about the night she went out with Dean? He must have! The gifts stopped the day after, so he certainly knew in some way.  
She pushes his head up, massaging the fluff on his cheeks as he looks mournfully into her eyes. "Did you think that me and Dean were…?"  
The wolf gives her a tiny awoo as she speaks, and then keeps howling when she tries again. She settles for rubbing the furry ruff of this enormous creature, sighing.  
The door opens and the man from last time is there. He helps Thandi up. "Ah. I should have guessed it would be because of you. My name is Josiah Halleway."  
"M--"  
Awooooo  
"--my--"  
Awooooo  
"My!"  
Awoooooo!!  
Josiah holds up his hand, taking the leash and collar from Pontilli and looping it around Briar's neck. The wolf presses his side to her, staring up, and Thandi swears that if wolves could cry, this one would.  
"Come with me. This matter is...important."  
They get into the elevator, and Josiah takes out a key, plugging it into the panel and hitting the button for the top floor. Thandi keeps her hand on Briar, listening to his nervous panting.  
"Josiah Halleway...as in...Ruth Halleway? As in the owner of Charity?"  
"As in the primary investor in an employee-owned company," Josiah corrects smoothly. "I know she's at the top, but she lives here. As does he." Josiah glances down at the wolf, who whines again at the acknowledgement.   
Thandi opens her mouth to ask more questions, but the elevator shudders to a stop and Josiah leads the way through a carpeted hallway. The carpeting is a little worn in places, no doubt because of the...unique situation. Josiah hands the leash to Thandi. When she balks, he shakes his head.  
"Don't worry. He's not fully in charge of his faculties like this. The wolf is in charge." As if to confirm, Briar yawns and presses into Thandi, huge brown eyes daring her to stare.  
A door is opened into a cozy apartment, definitely not something she would associate with penthouse living. There's the smell of bread baking, and embroidery frames line the walls. A lot of them are flowers, and only slightly less are wilderness tableaus featuring wolves, but by far the most startling are ones that are lovingly stitched with delicate, flowing script that says things like, I worship the ground that awaits your grave or (simply) cunt.  
There's laughter and Thandi pulls her attention back to the apartment to see an older woman approaching with a smile. "Most people are charmed by Josiah's masterpieces, I won't take offence. Though, if you realize you have taste, mine are at least better in polite company."  
There's a quiet chuckling from Josiah as he passes her, going to what Thandi presumes is the kitchen. The woman gestures to the couches, stuffed full and covered with crocheted blankets and multitudes of pillows. "Sit, sit. You can let him lie in your lap, he won't bite you. But do take care to pull a blanket over the poor boy."  
"Does he get cold?"  
"Oh, dear. He's going to change back. He would die of embarrassment if he found out you saw him in the nude."  
Thandi blinks, startled by the thought, but she sits anyway. Briar hops up beside her and flops down, laying his head in her lap with a yawn. Thandi tugs a few blankets over top of him and lets her hands idly scratch at the soft fur of the wolf.  
"Well...if i might introduce myself, my name is Dr. Thandi Kahsu."  
"It's good to finally meet you, Dr. Kahsu. May I call you Thandi?"  
"Please." She laughs slightly, and she catches the motion of a tail wag under the blankets.  
"Excellent. Thandi, you may have guessed, but my name is Ruth Halleway. I am Charlie's mother. You've been made aware of this far before we were hoping, so let me get through my story first before you ask questions."  
At this, Thandi nods.  
Ruth takes a breath.

Charlie has always been like this. In touch with his wild side in ways people could only ever imagine, that is. His magic was kept tightly monitored, though, and very restricted as a child.  
And, as Thandi knows, there is only so much magic a container can hold before it goes wild. Charlie became so warped by the limits placed on him that he managed to curse himself, going wild when the moon shone bright or emotions were too much for him to handle.  
The wolf was a side effect of stress, fear, anxiety. Thandi's fingers tighten on the fur of the wolf, her frown deepening with every sad story.   
Beatings, isolation, pressure from all sides to work like a machine; the doctor hadn't had a breath of space until his father's company, Priority, was sunk and Charity pillaged the employees. Thandi had just escaped that hell herself, as Priority was looking to hire her before it went under.  
All of it stunted the doctor in ways that he himself couldn't comprehend, from an explosive temper to a delicate stress threshold. The fear of her judgement had been so great that it triggered the wolf, sort of a self-defense mechanism.  
Thandi nearly doesn't have any questions left.  
"If that was so long ago, why is he still…?"  
"Lots of reasons. We don't really know. Certainly at some point, we hope it stops, but for now, we just keep these safeguards in place.”  
Thandi’s fingers tangle into soft hair and she glances down when she hears a sigh. The doctor’s head is in her lap, and he sleeps deeply. He's...oddly handsome, without a snarl otherwise marring his features. Was this really the same man who regarded her with such disdain? And...was he really the person leaving the gifts for her in the mornings?  
“And now, Dr. Kahsu, we’d like to ask you to be kind to us. You’ve worked here for years, and we’ve only ever heard good things about you, but my son’s protection is our highest priority. Will you sign a contract with us to keep it hidden?”  
Thandi swallows. “What are the details?”  
“We would like you to keep quiet on the subject to people who don’t know, and in case of an accident like this, we’d like you to keep the person there so we can speak to them. In exchange, we can give you...well, we’d rather leave that open for you to decide. We’ve only gotten requests for job security here, bless their hearts, so I’m not really sure what to offer you.”  
“I’m not sure what to ask for, to be honest,” Thandi says quietly. “Mostly, I think I just want answers at this point.”  
“Answers?”  
“Well, Dr. Vanderbee...has been leaving me gifts on my desk. And he’s very affectionate when he’s...ah…”  
Ruth holds up a hand, a small smile creeping onto her face. It’s gentle, and odd to see on someone who resembles the doctor so much. “I think I see what’s happening here. Why not have dinner with us tonight? Not as part of the contract, but as a friend. I think you’ll see something interesting.”  
Thandi looks down again at the peaceful face of the doctor, content where he is. She scratches at his sideburns slightly, smiling only to herself. “More interesting than this?”  
“Much,” Ruth promises. “Very much.”


	7. Awkward

Thandi actually enjoys chatting with Ruth, but she disappeared from her section without a word. Dr. Vanderbee doesn't stir when she rises, simply groaning in his sleep. It reminds her of the whines his wolf side crooned out when she pulled away, and it tugs slightly. He's still just a puppy, isn't he?

Ruth tells her how to get back, promising to have the contract ready to go with dinner. 

And so Thandi goes back to work, distracted and distant. Questions abound.

"Where did you go?"

"Did you get to meet the office dog that botanicals has? How do we get a sign off on an office pet?!"

"Wait, the presents  _ weren't  _ from Dean?"

The questions are answered as best as she could manage, tugging on the ears of the stuffed wolf on her desk. She frowns. "It turns out that my secret admirer is…" Does she tell them? Based on how upset he was about it, maybe it's best not to say. "...still a secret!"

The smile she gives to them is adequate. They cheer her on and the office drudgery continues.

In the elevator again, Thandi smooths her skirt and adjusts her cardigan. She wants to look professional, but casual, and she puts on her biggest smile for it. If this is what the Dr. Vanderbee is  _ really _ like, then they should really be fast friends!

Thandi even brought a gift from home, a bottle of wine she had to celebrate a special occasion. Of course, it always ends up that one can't think of an occasion special enough to use it, so she decided that it may as well be for this.

Back to the hall. Back to the door.

A steadying breath!

And into chaos.

Before she even knocks, she hears shouting. The doctor's voice, and the other--Josiah's?

"That's her! I'm  _ going! _ "

"You're not."

"I can't! Not after what  _ happened! _ "

The volume of the other voice goes lower as the door swings open, Ruth standing there with a smile. Dr. Vanderbee's head snaps to her direction, eyes going wide, and he starts to back away from Josiah.

Josiah looks ready to grab him, like he's a dog running for the door, and Ruth lets the door click shut as soon as Thandi gets inside. It's silent now, just for a second, and Thandi tries an awkward smile.

"Hello!"

It's like shots are being fired. Charlie ducks underneath Josiah's arm and jumps onto the couch, avoiding getting too close to Thandi as he goes for the door. He jumps over the end table, catches his foot on the lamp, and falls to the floor. The lamp shatters and brings them back to silence.

Much more embarrassing than anticipated.

He balls his fists and lays there in silent shame. Ruth sighs as she gets a broom from the cupboard, but Thandi holds up a hand. "No need. That was my fault. I can fix it."

She pulls her wand from her purse, flicking it artfully toward the lamp. It rights itself, letting pieces jump back into place. The seams disappear beautifully.

"Thank you, dear, but it truly wasn't your fault. Charlie, we invited her for  _ your _ benefit. This isn't like before, all right?"

Thandi kneels, an idea forming. He liked getting scratched as a wolf, right? She reaches out, and both voices behind her shout at the same time.

"No,  _ don't-- _ "

Her hand is slapped away, Dr. Vanderbee growling and baring his teeth as he scrambles backward. He moved so quickly that she barely had registered it.

" _ Don't you ever fucking touch me! _ "

This isn't going as well as she had hoped. When she pulls back, worry etched on her features, Charlie's hackles drop and his face softens. He refuses to make eye contact.

Thandi looks up at his parents, both of whom look more than apologetic. Josiah rubs his neck and lets out a breath.

"I know we invited you, but perhaps we should do this another time."

"No, it's all right!"

"It isn't all right. Sorry." The gruff mumble comes from the doctor, who has righted himself to hug his knees to his chest. "This should not have happened. Sorry. Sorry...sorry."

Thandi turns back to him, hand coming up automatically before she drops it again. "It's fine. I scared you. It's natural for a wolf--"

"It's not fine."

He pushes himself up, walks quietly to the door, and opens it. He takes a glance back at her and his parents.

"Sorry. Good night."

With that, the door clicks shut and the doctor disappears for the night.

It's awkward, to say the least. Josiah looks irritated by Charlie, but he stays respectfully silent. Ruth walks over to Thandi and takes her hands. "I'm so sorry. Usually he's much more...calm. I would understand if you wanted to skip dinner, but I beg you to at least read over the contract before you go."

"You know, I think I have just the thing to take the edge off. Here." Thandi pulls her smile back in place and offers the wine from her purse at last. Ruth laughs as she accepts the gift.

"You're right. I think we all could use a drink. Charlie isn't likely to come back tonight, so I don't see the harm. Do you like pasta?"

The tension diffuses wonderfully. Ruth and Josiah are perfectly kind, and they suit one another so well. Ruth has a way of teasing and joking that makes them feel familiar, and Josiah delivers not just  _ exemplary _ food, but a grounding manner that keeps them on track. He isn't without his own sort of jokes, either, and though he's cautious, he's kind.

The contract is pulled out over dessert. Josiah serves out strawberry cake, mourning his son's sudden absence. "I thought it would calm him down to get some sweets in him, but I suppose that having a panic like that should have been expected."

"You're right. Of course. We should have simply let him leave when he started getting nervous."

"Another reason I wouldn't have minded breaking another bone in--"

Ruth clears her throat, glances at Thandi. Thandi looks up from her papers. "Don't mind me! I'm nearly done reading."

Indeed, she's read their terms quite thoroughly, and she's stuck on what  _ her _ demands are. In exchange for not telling anyone not approved by the three of them, and assisting in emergencies, she's left with a big blank on what she could ask for.

Thandi struggles to recall, actually,  _ anything _ she's really desired before. Everything she needs for her work is already provided generously, and she hasn't really thought about anything she wants personally. 

Job security? That's more like tenure at a college, which bothers her. She wants to earn permanence.

An endless budget? Their budget reports are always reviewed and approved anyhow.

...books? Honestly, her library card takes care of that well.

Thandi reads and rereads. In the end, she simply writes  _ answers _ in the blank they left for her, signing with practical ease. Ruth takes it and her eyebrows rise at Thandi's addition.

"That's truly all you want?"

"Well...all magic interests me. And this is a sort that I've never seen before. It reminds me of the werewolf in Faerûn, but it's enormously different. I want the chance to...study it."

Ruth stares.

Josiah laughs. It's sincere, surprisingly. "If you're up to the challenge. He could use the reality check. Sign away, Ruthy, she's a winner."

At this, Ruth gives him a wry smile and nods. "Then it's agreed. You'll get a copy tomorrow morning, and we'll attach a digital edition to your personal file in the company. Thank you for being so understanding. And please, don't be afraid to take him to task."

"He's all bark and no bite." Josiah cracks up, slapping his knee. He pushes another slice of strawberry cake to Thandi. "Speaking of, eat his slice. He deserves to lose out on dessert for this."

Thandi smiles and tucks in. It's delicious.


	8. Purple Hyacinth

Thandi is greeted by her excited colleagues this morning. "Your admirer came in the night! We're so curious at what they left you!"

She moves around the people at her desk, seeing a small wrapped gift with a small bunch of purple flowers tucked through the twine binding it. The flowers are interesting, and a quick trek through google tells her they're purple hyacinths.

_ I'm sorry, please forgive me. _

Thandi smiles a little to herself, eased by his apparent acknowledgement at the difficulty of the night. She places the hyacinths into the now-empty vase her daisies and peonies had sat in. The twine is cut and the paper peeled away, revealing a daily desk calendar of cat motivation posters. It makes Thandi snort with laughter as she imagines the doctor buying it with his usual stern manner.

The calendar is quickly flipped to the latest day, showing a darling kitten flopped over, belly exposed and tiny mouth open in a silent mewl.  _ 'People who love cats have some of the biggest hearts around!' _

Thandi snaps a picture of it. It's a ripe conversation starter.

Already her mug is empty, and Thandi rises to visit the coffee nook in the hall. She sees him there already, leaning against the counter, eyes on the floor.

"Dr. Vanderbee. Hello."

"Did you...did you get…"

"Yes. And I'll forgive you this time, but you should really be careful. You could really get hurt when you do things like that. You're no child, you know." Thandi measures out her tone as she waits for the coffee pot to heat, trying to keep from giving him any sort of false hope. Daisies.  _ True love _ . He doesn't even know her...

As she doesn't know him. Yet.

"I...yes. Fair. It. I bought it before the. You know. It's incidental I...no more after this, though. No interference."

"Actually," Thandi says as she glances up at him. "I'd like to talk to you more. In detail. About all of this? Your situation intrigues me, professionally, so I'm interested in what makes you tick. It's in the contract as well." She smiles now, but he seems to shrink away.

"Ah. C-certainly. Yes. Af….after? May we. Meet. That is. I...sorry. It's. I'm. Not good with people. I. Er...I'll be in botanicals."

Thandi watches him slink off, cautious, but without that stiffness that he had worn before. These tics made sense, now. Of course an animal wouldn't feel safe surrounded by people. Oh, but he was raised by people? The thought goes into her notepad, along with a few more questions.

Charlie's nerves make it hard for him to focus. He concentrates on pushing a new cultivar through its life cycle, watching for anything different, peeling and trimming samples at key stages. Sometimes the growth stutters as he casts for the scent he knows won't arrive until everyone is gone.

His labmates refrain from taking note. Always,  _ always _ , he's a little touchier after an episode outside of the cycle. Messing with him now is just asking for wolf hair everywhere, and they could do without the distraction.

When they leave, Bernard gives him a wave. "You should come out for pizza sometime. A new place just opened up."

"I don't…"

"Hey, we know. Crowded places. But if you ever feel up to it...well. Hang out for once."

"Mm."

The interim between Bernard's departure and Thandi's arrival has Charlie pacing. Professional interest and personal interest don't intercept. They're walking parallel lines here. He should have kept away better from the day she finally acknowledged him. But. But, but, but. It seems that the universe is against peace for him.

A sharp rap at the door precedes Thandi's arrival. He looks up to see her bright smile, blinking in the dazzle of her features. "Hello!" She seems at ease, but he can smell something like  _ tension _ coming off of her. It's stronger than usual; before she knew he was wolf, it was more of a wafting undertone. Now, it's pungent.

He sits down, wheeling his chair back, and stares at the floor. "Hi. Ask your questions. I'm not keeping you here."

"Oh! I suppose so…" Thandi pulls a chair from another work table and sits, quietly rustling the pages as she flips through them. “Okay, here we are. Let’s talk about the discrepancies between your wolf half and your human half.”

“Right,” Charlie mumbles. “All right. Ask away…”

“You, as you are now, seem to react to me violently, while your wolf half reacts favorably. Is there a trigger or something that causes this? And does each half of you influence the behavior of the other half?”

Charlie rubs his neck, taking a deep breath. He pulls a leg up onto the seat, pressing his face to his knee as he thinks. Already he’s starting to feel hot, the feeling surging through his bones, threatening to tip him over. “It’s not a half and half situation. It’s all one...big thing. I’m always both. I’ve always been a wolf and I’ve always been a...s...human. And...and. And.”

Deep, shuddering breaths, closed eyes, tension in every bit of him. Thandi watches it all with a studious eye. “And...you say you hate me because of a smell?”

“Yes.”

“So, you retain your wolf senses like this?”

“I do. I just don’t have the form right now.”

“So, your wolf side? Wolf part? Wolf...yin…?”

“It’s just me. I call it a wolf. The wolf.” Charlie runs a hand through his hair and drops his leg from the seat, instead bobbing his knee. “I sound like a high schooler again.”

“Oh! Speaking of, did y--”

“Ever since I was young. I was in a private school and had to be pulled out or I would attack the other children. I did attack the other children. Are you keen on that? Finding out how many people I’ve hurt?”

Thandi swallows, fear rising again. She’s voluntarily stepped in a room with someone who acknowledges a lack of control and a history of maiming other people. Instead of watching him begin to stare at her with anger bubbling just beneath the surface, she writes it down in her notepad. It steadies her for the moment. “I’m just curious as to how you managed to curse yourself, and if it can be cured.”

“Who says I want to be cured?” Charlie stands now, grabbing his keys off the table next to him. “Don’t get ahead of yourself just because I dropped offerings at your den.” Skirting the room, Charlie aims to get toward the door, keeping his distance. She’s heavy with the stench of anxiety, fear, even. He’d never hurt her, but she was still terrified. It’s not as if talking about it is making it any better, either. The sooner he leaves, the better off she’ll be.

Thandi, though, crinkles her brows. “My den?”

“Er, desk. I said your desk. Anyhow. B--”

“Wait! At least tell me what triggers it!” Thandi rises from her seat now, walking towards him. His heart is racing as she gets closer, moving between him and the door. Charlie starts to back up, clutching at his chest. Why does it hurt? It’s not his bones, it’s not the muscle there, it’s just radiating some strange heat, and he startles when his back hits a counter. 

Thandi has stopped pursuing him, holding her hands up to signal peace. “I won’t hurt you. I can see you’re scared. Look, I’m going to back up now.”

“ _ I’m not scared! _ ”

It comes out as a shout, a growl, as he bares his teeth. Everything is contradicting right now. The scent that he so dearly loves is wrong, twisted up in a perfume of fear and anxiety. She’s smiling at him as if she isn’t trying to hide her absolute horror at him. He knows he’s fucked up, but to have  _ her  _ standing in front of him, pointing out every single thing that makes him like this, it’s so fucking awful. The situation screams danger while some part of him screams that she’s safe, she’s a friend, she’s, she’s, “ **_FUCK!_ ** ”

It hurts!

It hurts so much! Why is it hurting? What can he do? A whine escapes him as he tangles himself in his own clothing, trying to get out of the constriction of the fabric, hide somewhere. That smell comes closer, that voice, that fear. Her voice. Her voice is so gentle, so soothing, and he flinches when her hands touch his fur. He’s shaking, and she’s careful, delicate, stroking him and whispering to him in words he could barely parse.

Slowly, his heart slows down as he sits, panting, in her lap. Her fingers massage him and he lays his head on her shoulder, whining still.

Thandi holds the wolf close. She can’t explain its apparent attachment to her yet, but one of the triggers for it is exceedingly obvious now. When he gets frightened, or nervous, perhaps? She leans back from the canine, sticking her fingers into his mouth to see his teeth. It whines, but it doesn’t resist her prying. “How odd is it that I’m safer with the wolf than the human?” She giggles at this, and the wolf huffs.

That statement echoes inside of him, getting lost in the din of all the small noises of the lab. His tail answers her with a wag, so she stands and looks about the room to find the collar and leash hanging off a hook. As she strides across the room to grab it, the wolf sticks close to her side, touching her the whole time. Thandi stares down at him and he stares up at her.

The eyes are the same, somehow, and she wonders how much his human parts influence his wolf parts if the wolf had so much control over the other. “Dr. Vanderbee, can you understand me?”

The wolf tilts his head, as if listening.

“If I tell you to turn in a circle…”

The wolf turns a tight circle before sitting.

“...Speak?”

The wolf barks, and she swears she could see a flicker in there of human intelligence.

“How far does your understanding go? Will you come with me without the leash?”

At this, the wolf stands again and gazes up at her. Thandi bites her lip. She doesn’t necessarily know  _ why _ they collar him if he could still understand, but at the same time, there has to be some delineation. Just to be safe, she pulls his collar onto him and tugs the leash. The wolf whines and submits meekly, ready to go, so she gathers up his things to bring back up to the penthouse.


	9. Out of Sorts

Charlie sits in his apartment, exhausted. Dr. Kahsu had brought him home, leaving promptly afterwards. He clutches at his chest, a shadow of that horrible feeling lingering still. 

It's not as if he's ignorant of emotional pain. The challenge is in figuring out  _ which _ emotion it is that is ripping through him every time she gets involved. It's not love. Of course not. He's formed a deep attachment to her as a comfort object.

Object. Not person. The idea of it rattles him, but it also makes sense.

When she started going out with Dean, perhaps it was a sense of loss. She's no longer unattached, so he has no right to try to impress her at all. The pain is sharp. Is she with him now? He's a handsome man, certainly, very kind. Loves dogs. Stinks like one, too. Dr. Kahsu probably adores someone like him, someone nothing like himself.

Charlie whines, grip tightening in an effort to dull the pain somehow. Sadness?

And there's fear. It's like Dr. Kahsu has taken a dental instrument and carved her name with agonizing slowness on every centimeter of bone in his body. She knows too much, she presses too hard, and he has heartbreak on top of that. 

Why did someone like her have to smell so good?

It's a smell he can't name, something that even the memory of wakes some distant part of him up, makes him want to fight and fuck and just...be. He whispers her name to himself.

"Thandi."

It feels good to say. Like he's saying a curse word, being a naughty child. It almost makes him laugh, actually. So he says it again.

"Thandi."

Such a childish thing, to be relieved. Perhaps he should vent more of the pressure from her off, just let himself get stupid instead of shoving it into the vault. 

"Thandi!"

He laughs loud now, body shaking. It's so stupid! Take control back from her and simply numb himself to it. Exposure therapy. He can get sick of her and be done with it.

Perfect and not at all a bad idea, Vanderbee.


	10. Stuck

The first thing he realizes at the moment is clarity. Though the way his thoughts are, there's a profound difference in his reasoning. Usually it would be clouded with the intensity of emotion, forcing him to rely on instinct when he acts.

Thandi stares down at him, hands on her hips. His labmates, too, stare down at him.

"Briar isn't usually this calm," Fairwether says slowly. "Or this still."

How does he communicate his understanding? Charlie maintains the steadiness of his gaze, hoping that someone realizes that something is different. 

"I've got the leash and the collar," Bernard calls as he approaches. 

"Wait. Yesterday, he understood me when I asked him questions." Thandi kneels in front of him. "Briar," she says slowly, "Can you understand?"

Charlie nods. The baffled look of everyone is frustrating. He was never  _ just _ an animal. Thandi smiles, and his heart aches. This is really the only reason she has any interest in him.

It hurts.

"Briar, are you able to change back?"

No.

"Do you need anything?"

Yes.

"Is it something we can help you with?"

Yes.

"Upstairs?"

Yes.

Thandi takes the collar and leash, reaching toward him. It rings again inside of him.  _ This is the only reason she's interested. _

_ How odd is it… _

Charlie whines, backing up from her. It hurts. Her hands are fire. Her smile is fake. She's scared of him. He's scared of her. It hurts!

Her hand makes contact and he yelps, skittering to hide under a table. She stares after him, looking to her hand in confusion. Charlie is losing his mind slowly this time, he realizes. Things blur into instinct so easily.

"Briar, hey. It's okay. We're going to call Josiah." 

People. People, with that hated leash and collar. Don't force him into obedience. Don't tether him. He needs to run. He needs to fight. He needs to...

"I don't think this is safe," someone says. "I'm leaving the lab."

"Who is he growling at?"

"Don't turn your back."

Hands, he sees them, and every moment comes with crystal clarity. His teeth are bared at every jerk, every twitch, and that one voice cuts through.

"Briar. You remember me, right? You were so calm before…"

_ How odd is it… _

The fur that stands along his spine smooths, and there's a collective sigh of relief. The wolf trots to Thandi, planting himself in front of her dutifully.

"Is he guarding her?"

Bernard steps forward and jumps back when a snap comes his way.

"Oh, fuck."

The lab is disrupted by whatever has stricken Charlie. He manages to come to as himself, but as soon as that scent hits him, he's changed.

_ How odd is it… _

He hasn't got any right to interfere with her personal life, no right to fancy her, no right to anything.

_ How odd is it… _

Charlie is a wreck. Human, he tries desperately to work, push her out of his mind 

_ How odd is it… _

Wolf, he has no choice. He can't have a choice. She's all that matters, but it's crushing his heart.

_ How odd… _

Charlie locks himself at home.

_ Odd… _

Charlie doesn't dare to go out again.

_ Odd. _

Charlie can't change back.


End file.
